Saturday, March 1, 2008

the passing of time

My mother called this afternoon. "I've got pneumonia," she said between coughs, followed by a deep wheeze just before another cough.

"Why aren't you in the hospital?" I asked.

"Don't need to be," she smarted. Clearly, she had made up her mind. It reminded me that a smart ass tone is sometimes inherited. 'The apple does not fall far from the tree', as they say. Listening to her is sometimes like listening to myself, and that we sound eerily alike, makes it all the weirder.

"Well," I replied, "alright then," resigned to say no more.

"Mabeleen Barker died. I reckon I can't go tonight [to visitation] but I'll probably go to the funeral tomorrow. You remember Mabeleen, don't you?"

"Oh heavens, yes, I remember her. Bless her heart, what happened?" I asked sympathetically.

"You know she always thought the world of you. Loved you to death. Always did. You remember her?" She asked again.

"Yes," I repeated, feeling that same, oh-so-familiar smart she'd just handed me well up in my throat "Of course I remember her. What happened?"

"Oh honey she'd been sick for years. You know, Keith [her oldest son] is down there in the hospital and she died in the hospital at Ashland."

"Well," I said, knowing full well there was no point in asking again. She may or may not ever tell me exactly what happened to Mabel and, frankly, I was surprised she didn't tell me all about Keith's problems. Instead, she told me something worse.

"Your daddy come home from the bank today and said Gary Skaggs is in the hospital down there real bad off."

"He is? What's the matter with him?" I asked, hoping for better results this time.

"Had a stroke yesterday. Said he's got a blood clot in his spine. They don't think he's gonna make it I reckon," she said rather matter of factly.

It was a blow I hadn't expected. I grew up with Gary's wife and all of his in-laws. I'd known Gary since he and Regina married 25 years before - back in the days when they had nothing.

They first lived in a rented trailer down the road from her parents. She was barely older than I was when she had her first of three children. She loved little Josh but I could see she was itching to live a little. When Gary got a job in the mines near his native Louisa, they moved into another rental house just down the hill from his parents in a little hamlet called Blaine. Blaine's favorite son was Gary's brother, Ricky. They looked so much alike there was no mistaking they were brothers though their journeys had taken very different paths even then.

I used to drive over to Blaine on weekends and take bags and bags and bags of food to them. Mining didn't pay much and I was bored as could be going to school at EKU. Regina was frighteningly skinny so I bought large cans of protein shake mix to fatten her up. It didn't work. Gary was all muscle, of course, from working hard labor and slept a good part of his time at home. Regina being away from family was lonely so we were the friends we needed to be for one another at the time. It was a hard time for them and an unsettled time for me. It was the kind of time when you're young when true friendships are born that, despite time and distance, never fade.

In a few short months I dropped out of college, got myself in a rock-n-roll band and started touring and recording constantly. After that, we drifted apart, only seeing one another at the county's annual Sorghum Festival or someone's funeral. With time, Gary got tired of the mines and started doing road work for Ricky. They moved three or four more times. He wasn't happy on the road and went back to the mines. They got a divorce, then got remarried [only after she married and divorced some other man], then had another son and daughter. In the meantime, I came off the road, went back to college,was a self-supporting artist among other things before finally landing a job at UK. I don't think any of us did what we thought we'd do way back when we were thick as thieves.

The last time I saw Regina was in a hospital less than a year ago; she was staying with her father who had just suffered a heart attack and I was visiting an uncle who suffered a host of problems. I can't remember the last time I saw Gary - at the festival probably 10 years ago. He was always a handsome, handsome man and loved his family more than life itself. He reminded me a lot of my dad - a guy that would sacrifice time and again to provide for his family. It just about killed him when Regina went off with that other man. I saw her only once during that time and misery was written all over her. A few years later when she and Gary had remarried, I finally saw in her an adult; a woman who finally understood what mattered.

"They said they don't know if they'll do surgery to remove the clot or not but, said no matter what, he'll be a vegetable even if he lives," mom said.

"I hate to hear that." All fairy tales end I guess.

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