from daylight to dreams

...and the weirdness continues I guess. At least now I'm dreaming about it instead of living it. The past two nights have been rife with weird, lifelike dreams. Too lifelike really.

For instance, last night, the first dream found me at work but it was a factory and the walls were painted the color of a muted, institutional brown. It was loud and dirty. Potential employees were being brought to my office, which was on the second floor overlooking the factory floor. One in particular was a friend of two current employees. Those two current workers never listened to me but they would listen to my male counterpart. They made it very obvious, too. I would give them direction and they'd say something like, "Well, we'll see what Mike has to say about it" then walk away laughing. So, when their friend showed up at my door and wanted a job, I was none too impressed. I asked him to wait in the lobby for me. Someone was there with me when I shoo-ed him back to the lobby. Whoever it was said, "Why did you do that?" To which I said something like, "Why on Earth would I hire the friend of the two people I already have that are as insubordinate as can be? Do I look to you like a glutton for punishment? And why are the nasty, hateful, sexist, racist, mean people around here somehow above reproach?" Then he demanded that I at least give the guy an interview so, I did. I asked pointed questions and, sure enough, birds of a feather, as they say. I think I told him to get lost, I'm not sure.

The dreams switched quickly, something about a woman carrying a cat as she was looking to buy a house that I was selling - I must have been the Realtor (a dream to be sure). It was a bland, emotionless room, like a suburban apartment I'd had 20 years ago, with horrible partical board bookshelves and a flower print couch (I never had a couch that bad). BLEE

Dream switches again and I'm working on a road crew in downtown San Fransisco with some guy whom I apparently knew really well for we were having that kind of conversation. We were mixing something strange in a large, grey plastic wheel barrow - like cat litter and sod or something like it. We were either patching potholes or repairing sidewalks. Scene switches and we're in a neighborhood just off of the downtown corridor. The street is lined with beautiful houses, many of which are businesses. We decided to go into one of the houses to see what they were selling - it was like a little head shop with lots of delicious incense and fun postcards, wait - we still have a job outside but look, it's quitting time. I go to the truck to leave but there's an old white VW beetle parked so close to our old beat-up truck that the only way out of the parallel space is forward. The driver is still sitting in the beetle and he looks odd somehow though I can't really see his face. We pull forward and out into the street. I look in my rear-view mirror and the beetle is following us and now I can clearly see who's driving. It's Jack Nicholson as The Joker though he's dressed in a white suit wearing a red hat and red tie. I looked at my friend in the passenger seat and said, "Okay, now it's too weird, I'm waking up."

Personally, I like the dreams when I'm smoking cigarettes best. I know I'm dreaming so I can smoke all I want without consequence! I'm always more relaxed when I wake up.

i greatly dislike meetings

what a weird day this was.


My one-eye stray cat, Jack, (I guess he's not really a stray since I've taken him in) was diagnosed with diabetes Monday. The one thing I have never ever ever wanted to do is give shots - I hate needles as much as I hate snakes ....and that's A LOT! So what have I done for the last two days? Give a cat shots in the scruff of his neck. I take him back to the vet this a.m. so they can monitor his glucose something-or-other then off to work I go.

I'm trying to meet with some IT folks about fixing what can be classified as nothing less than a fire Marshall's nightmare - a mess of extension cords and six plugs (or as a co-worker too gleefully pointed out in that...that...that tone "do you mean a power strip"? The only thing she left off was "idiot" "Hillbilly" or "moron" I'm not sure which). They're all chained together providing power to a herd of computers, and I mean a herd! Waiting, waiting, waiting, need to get allergy shot while they're open, waiting, waiting, tired of waiting, running out of time - go for allergy shot.

Last week's shot gave me an immediate reaction which then touched off an anxiety attack. That was fun - nothing like blood pressure through the roof and a heart rate that would easily launch me into orbit. No jet propulsion necessary. My pressure went so high the nurse had trouble getting the BP cuff on and, by the time she took it off, bruises around my bicep - attractive! The reaction didn't last long (it was a new, stronger dose, that's why it happened - the anxiety just cuz a racing heart freaks me out) but it was in the back of my mind today. I made a vow that, no matter what, I wasn't freaking out.

Got the shot - the reaction took a while to set in, well after I'd left the office. And a little too late for me to freak out. I spent the rest of the day in a anti-histamine induced haze, short of breath, fighting sleep every time I sat down and real trouble stringing a sentence together.

Return to office - pile of mail on desk, IT folks walk in. No time to check mail, virtual or real. Trying to explain the situation on antihistamines takes twice as long with three times the effort. (just so you know, me and antihistamines aren't like antihistamines and other people - they knock me out, even the ones that aren't supposed to!)

Quickly eat something before next meeting.

Next meeting - a follow up from a workshop held recently. I had jotted down a few notes - mentioned one thing from the workshop and, either I didn't explain it well (wouldn't be weird even on a good day), or a certain committee member decided she'd just pick on somebody today and I was the closest fool. She was so damned hateful I just shut up and was thankful to be drugged. Otherwise I would have really taken offense to her pretension. As it was, she gets to take the blame if something goes wrong. Ya know, you can lead a horse to water......

Back to regular job, meetings going on all around me, quiet quiet quiet, all of a sudden, impromptu meeting in another room. Makes me late top pick up the cat from the vet. Get to vet where I learn that the insulin isn't working. Either he needs a different kind or I'm not giving the shots "deep enough". For crying out loud - ya want me to hit a bone? I had to leave the cat overnight.

I came home. I heard his little bell run to the back door when I slipped in the key. I opened the door but no Jack. It was my biggest wish. I didn't want a cat but he needed a home. Now I want him to meet me at the door every day. And I want people to stop being shitty to each other, including me. Is that so much to ask?