youtube-mania

My pal, Melanie Johnson, has a GREAT video on YouTube as part of the Aimee Mann song contest. Check her out.

sunday readings

A friend recently loaned me his autographed copy of Chris Offutt's The Same River Twice. The memoir by the Kentucky born writer had long been on my reading list but I'd never gotten around to it - though I have read most of his first release Kentucky Straight. I have no lasting impression of it which, to my way of thinking, says I needed to make space on my hard drive of a mind and it wasn't important enough to keep.

There has been much ado about The Same River Twice by Kentuckians who think it's portrayal of us natives is less than stellar, less than accurate, less than kind. I withheld judgment until I'd read it from cover to cover.

Offutt is from Rowan County - neighbor to my home; Morgan County. I've long thought that Rowan County was....different. When I was in high school, rumors were rampant that devil worshippers sacrificed cats and goats on Clack Mountain - a tall hill near the Morgan/Rowan County line just beyond Cave Run Lake. They said the head warlock was a prof at MSU and that ritual orgies were the nightly norm. Me and friend took a chance and drove around Clack Mountain looking for what we'd been told were satanic symbols leading the way to the ritual site. We found symbols on rocks, painted in red. Clack Mountain was desolate - a dirt road marking the spine of the ridge, more symbols as we went further into the woods, trees started closing in, the road become narrow and pitted with holes where the grader no longer tread; we turned back - considering ourselves brave enough to have gone as far as we did without admitting we were too chicken-shit to go any further...even though we knew full well that anybody who'd heard the rumors was the likely hieroglyph artist.

Still, I never liked Rowan County.

Concerning Offutt's book, the only bit I took exception to was where he says that, if you're a man, porking your cousin, your sister, or a barnyard animal is OK but another man is strictly forbidden. He says it near the bit where he was getting friendly with a NYC hooker, grabbed what he thought was her pistol only to find it to be her hard, throbbing gristle! Freaked him out - as it would anyone, I'm sure.

So, ok, he doesn't agree with gay sex - a lot of people don't. But do they, in Rowan County, really condone sleeping with beasts and relatives long before other men? Is this some mountain guy thing that I somehow missed out on? Does he mean to say that all the boys I dated in high school (which was a LOT) somehow never let it slip that, before our dates, they'd relieved themselves in their nanny goats? That I was in competition with their sisters? That my own father would let me lose in the world and not warn me about such things? I'm sorry - I don't buy it - I think he's full of shit and, that if there is such a pact, it belongs to his family alone rather than some cultural norm. There's nothing normal about it.

I'll grant you this: my dad has told me about a family in Perry County (where he was born) who were well known to inbreed - everyone knew it and looked at them with pity. He said, "They didn't know any better than to not sleep with their sisters." This family was so inbred that deformities were the distinguishing family features, like square jawlines or beady blue eyes in other families. Apparently, you could spot them a mile away, what with their abnormally off-centered noses, distended bodies, and crooked eye sockets. All this to say, normal mountain people, normal people period, do not sleep with their sisters and cousins! And, sorry, inbreeding, where it really does take place, isn't confined to Eastern KY - hello - this country is full of incest, the world is for that matter!

So, I gotta go with his critics on that one - just perpetuating the stereotype, he is. Otherwise, I thought his book was extremely well written and provocative. Though, in all honesty, I felt dirty after reading it. I felt like I had mosquito bites, unshowered, hungry, stinky, sticky, hungover, longing for a bed instead of a floor, a place to belong. Of course, that's the mark of a good writer - you felt everything he went through. But it's not an adventure I'd take again.

things that happen on a saturday

First up: Hillary Clinton's concession speech

Despite knowing I did the right thing casting my primary vote for Barack Obama I still feel like a traitor. Today's concession speech just drove that point home. As tears dripped down my cheeks while she graciously spoke of Obama (to her credit - though he did right by her, too), in my mind I saw both my elderly grandmothers, 95 and 92, being denied the right to vote. While neither of them are/were the type of women to cause a ruckus, much less as suffragettes, they were, none the less, born before women had the right to vote - their lives, in many ways, played out as benefactors of that suppression. Being keenly aware that their opportunities denied were now mine to explore, I was overcome with shame and guilt that, in the end, I had not worked harder to see our gender uplifted to the country's highest office.

Despite that, I still know Obama stands to be our best presidential candidate and that all those women who sacrificed their lives and livelihoods so many decades ago did not do so in vane. Their ambitions were wholly fullfilled when I cast my vote even though I did not do it for one of our own. I voted for a man whom I believe will do his utmost for everyone - not just women, not just blacks, but every single person in this country. Had Hillary been as eloquent and passionate a speaker, as generous of spirit and candor as Obama, had she been as gracious throughout her campain as she was in her speech today, we may very well have seen his concession rather than hers. But, as she rightly pointed out, it's never good to say "what if" but better to move forward. I believe Obama is the person to get that done and it would be to his credit to have her as vice-president. But even if he doesn't (and if he doesn't, I will trust his judgment), there can be no doubt that what Clinton did in this race was historic. She has made it easier for the next qualified woman to run. And for that, we should all be truly grateful - even if you were always an Obama supporter.

Before I end my confession, let me finally say that, for all her faults (and she's got plenty, Lord knows), Clinton was right to campaign to the end and right to host a concession "party" days after many called for it. The media, and even myself, said more than once at points in this campaign that "she should throw in the towel". But, in fact, she won the popular vote and her supporters would have felt disenfranchised had she done so. Likewise, I don't believe for a second that she stalled in her concession for any other reason than losing is hard and she had supporters who were extremely loyal - it's the least she could do for them. And if she stalled for position? She is nothing if not smart. I believe history will show that both those decisions stand to unify the party rather than divide it - everyone's voice had a chance to be heard - everyone's vote had a chance to count. That's important.


And, now, as with the presidential election in which Al Gore really won the presidency - we should, as a country, suspend the use of delegates and let the popular vote guide our outcomes. Nothing is more disenfranchising than to work toward a common goal only to have antiquated politics overrule the will of the people. Had such a change been made sooner, we would not have had Dubya and Cheney in the White House, we would not be in a bogus war, we would not be suffering the largest unemployment rate in more than 20 years, we would not see our stocks plummeting, we would not be faced with Global warming without being proactive and signing the Kyoto protocol, etc. etc. etc. And, I dare say, we would have Universal health care by now - my grandparents could afford their drugs without choosing between that and food, and I would have the option to leave my job for another if I want to.

Next up: The Belmont stakes wherein Big Brown stands to be the first Triple Crown winner in 30 years. The great thing about this race: there's no delegates - you either win, or you don't. Worse case scenario, it's a photo-finish. It's not inconceivable that they could tie....though that would be historic, too.

judy-ism

I mentioned Judy Tenuta in my last post - lo' and behold, an anonymous commenter replied that Judy is alive and well, performing in Denver this weekend. Too bad I'm nowhere close to Denver - I'd go. But if you are - here's her website

Location aside, I was glad to hear The Goddess is still making people laugh with her IUD. Call me stuck but I still quote lines from her appearance with Rodney Dangerfield (HBO special as I recall) back in the 80's (giving away my age now). One of the funniest shticks I've ever seen - still!

Seems I saw her again a few years later - the bit about mountain girls - that wasn't quite as funny. Of course, I did take some offense to that particular bit and, to be honest, that's the only part of the routine I remember. Because she pissed me off or because she wasn't that funny? Hard to say really. Anyway, I'm sure she meant no harm and I love her just the same. We're all fair game in the world of comedy, as well we should be, after all. But I seriously never heard a peep about her after that. You can't blame that on me - I have nothing to do with HBO programming. If I did, I'd have....running water and shoes... :-D

bummer

I'm bummed about Harvey Korman dying. I'll be way bummed when Carol Burnett dies. I'll be bummed when Tim Conway, Vicki Lowrance, and Lyle Wagner die, too. And Korman died just days after Dick Martin (Laugh-In) died! Is the universe cleaning house of comedians this week? Who's next - Goldie Hawn? Rita Rudner? Judy Tenuta? (Whatever happened to Judy Judy, BTW?)

Thank God Ellen DeGeneres and Eddie Izzard are still kicking or we'd be left with a host of mediocre comedians until we, too, die. OK, so, Mike Myers and Steve Martin are very funny and they're still alive....and Jamie Lee Curtis plays great comedy roles (when she's not screaming at men in masks with machetes)...and the world will never be totally over as long as John Cleese, Michael Palin, and Jennifer Saunders are still around - God bless 'em one and all, those witty Brits.

I still miss Lucille Ball and the Three Stooges. Corny but true. There's nothing better than a good physical comedy stint. In my next life I want to be a comedian. Well, actually, I want to be a meteorologist/storm chaser but....in the life after that I wanna be a comedian.

the tudors

so, I said to a friend today that The Tudors on Showtime is one of the hottest shows going. If you're fascinated at all with the 1500's and you really like beautiful men (contrary to the portraits of Henry VIII), The Tudors is what you're looking for. Lord help me - I feel like Mrs. Robinson but being middle aged does not mean dead - which is what you'd have to be to not notice a fine specimen like this....

And he's just the king! (Jonathan Rhys Meyers) How about a king with a best friend (Henry Cavill) that's just as beautiful as he is!

The list goes on - there's no end to beautiful men or talent in this show - from Sam Neill to Peter O'Toole (as Pope Paul III, no less), even the theme is moving, haunting, memorable. It's really a great series. Go, now...

here's the deal

So far my vacation has consisted of a funeral for an errant uncle, grocery shopping, dinner at O'Charlies, digging up Rose of Sharon bushes, a massive allergy attack with a migraine that landed me in bed for 24 hours, another round of poison ivy, and total boredom. How sad is that you want to go back to work because you're too damn bored to stay home? This is what my life has been reduced to - boredom. There was a time when I couldn't be at home enough - there was so much to do, so much to create. Now I just feel completely overwhelmed, underpaid, over-taxed, undervalued, and basically....depressed. That's it - depressed. I've got to get a creative job or I'm gonna go off the deep end.

To make it worse, I voted my heart with Obama and have felt like a complete traitor to the female gender ever since. As if every woman who fought and suffered to earn me the right to vote was slapped upside the head, spat on, and called dirty names. Shit!